All about the vibes. Buy bud by the boatload. Cars. Dad bods are so hot rn. EDM and everything in between. Fuck me or kill me. Girl, just say it and I’ll drive at any hour to any state during an apocalypse to bless you with the d. Hobbies include getting sloppy head. I’m tall. Just a hard working business man looking for a girl with daddy issues. Keep your standards like that new Star Wars movie…so-lo. Let’s hit some Sour Diesel, get our sexy moist on in a yoga class, and hook up in my car to Barry White (yes, my seats are heated). Make $19.50 an hour. Nothing but respect for women! Out here trying to carpe your DM. Probably not the worst mistake you’ll ever make. Questionable kinks. Real life Christian Grey. Swipe right…please? That is not my child; that is my nephew. Unmatch and I’ll cry. Vaccinated. Willing to settle for less than true love? Xtra large wang. Yes: to Netflix and chill!

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Zero expectations though.